Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
