Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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