you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I am one with the molecules
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
