Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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