You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
