Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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