What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
