was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
