If i come over, it means nothing
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
