So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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