I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
