her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
