We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
