I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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