So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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