I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
