can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
