This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Welp...herpes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
