We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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