if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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