sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
