Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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