It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
