It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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