i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
