Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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