They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
