i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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