Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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