I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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