I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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