i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
