Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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