Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
