he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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