He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He? As in you personified your dick?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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