you traded sex for a burrito?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
