I can tuck mytits in my pants
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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