You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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