All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
