I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
