woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
