He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
