My first STD was from a foam party
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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