Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
