the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
