you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
