is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
