The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
