Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
